i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
