just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Less talking, more tequila
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
