I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
