How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
