i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
