i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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