Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
