Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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