I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
