Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
