me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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