Even water is tasting like jack daniels
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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