Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
they need to just BURY HIM!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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