you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
