super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
