Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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