i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
did you just send me my own nude
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
