I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
