it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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