Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
