I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
