some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
