turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
