Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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