You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've blown a few things in my day
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
