My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
