weddingsv make me drug and hornr
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
