So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
