my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
