I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
