Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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