The maid of honor just puked.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
