Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
