Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
