You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
