It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
