Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
