Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
