Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
