i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
