guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
