I'm lost and stupid without you.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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