just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
