maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
