know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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