Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
