can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
