shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
