my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sober January is a disaster.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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