Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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