I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
